Penat

Sangat penat lately ni. I have been feel poorly through out the week. With those supplements to keep me moving seems doesnt work at all. Seems like someone or something has taken my whole +ve energy and exchange it with negative energy.

pic from google*

Bukan penat buat keje berat-berat pun. Rasa penat yang semacam. Faham tak? Do you get it what I mean?

Perasaan penat yang melibatkan dari semua aspek.

Bukan penat di tempat kerja. Belum mula kerja tapi dah rasa penat. Penat drive dari rumah ke ofis sebab traffic  jam dan perjalanan yang dekat seakan jauh. Penat gaduh dengan driver or motor yang suka himpit-himpit dan tak bagi signal.



Sampai ofis, penat layan kerenah orang. Sesiapa sahaja. By face to face or by phone. Penat cakap nak explain benda yang senang tapi jadi complicated.

Penat drive pula dari ofis balik rumah. Traffic jam. The situation same everyday.


Sampai rumah, lega dan syukur. Tapi masuk je rumah ada benda yang tak kena kat mata. Anak baru sorang. Penat dan sakit mata, tapi nak buat camner telan je lah. Penat pula nak bebel. Penat nak cakap benda yang sama hari-hari. Kalau bukan anak yang buat selerak, bapa anak. Kalau bebel, buat penat mulut dan diaorg pun tak suka nak dengar. Aduhai perasaan! Perasaan bila tenang masa solat & tidor.  Rasa tak nak bangun dari solat & tido je. Biarlah perasaan tu tenang seketika. Memang salute lah to mak dulu-dulu, anak ramai pun boleh handle lagi. Rumah kemas tersusun je... Kenapa sekarang tak boleh buat cam gitu? Perlu ke kena ada maid baru rumah tu elok? So, kita balik rumah, just concentrate pada keluarga, tak perlu amik peduli hal rumah or kain baju dah siap basuh or lipat or gosok. Sigh* Mak selalu marah, tak baik mengeluh, banyakkan zikir, berdoa agar dipermudahkan semua yang kita buat dengan ikhlas dan lapang dada. Mak, kalau lah saya boleh duduk dengan mak dan dengar segala ceritera mak, pesanan dan doa-doa yang mak selalu pesan. I wish I could.


Harini ini, lagi penat. Penat badan dan penat perasaan. Entah kenapa, handphone problem or batt gone kong! Last time when I checked on my hp, the batt stil ok.  Hubby's phone, tak tahulah pun tak bunyi alarm. I woke up at 7 am and on my normal days, I should  already on the road by that time. Apa lagi....... bertambah penat! But, luckily the traffic was not so bad, managed to reach office in 1 piece early. What the worst part is, when I switch on my hp, sms came in from Danisha's teacher saying that today no school because they're having a rehearsal session for Sports Day and they are required to wear sport attire. OMG! I look at the watch and its already 7.45am. I sent the sms to my husband as he managed Danisha every morning before going to work. Last night, as usual, check on her school bag, put normal attire after school for her including her pyjama.  Last thing I remember when I checked on my hp before I go to sleep, I did not received any sms from her teacher about the rehearsal. So the funny thing is, when hubby arrived at school he saw everyone with sport attire but not Danisha, so quickly, hubby change Danisha with her pyjamas pants with sunflower printed and school tshirt without sport shoes, just an Angry Bird slippers. How funny it could be? I dont want to visualize it. Ooo...i wish i had a wings and i could fly back and get her proper attire. As usual, my hubby will be in a calm situation with a calm intonation when i spoke to him about the sms, about the sports attire and everything. I already cried. I feel very guilty, I did not perform my duty commendably. He said he will deal with it later, he just need to be in the office first and will come back later to get everything for Danisha. Now I wish I am SAHM. I can imagine how an awkward she could be with a sunflower printed pants and Angry Bird slippers for sport rehearsal?? What could the teachers thinks of me??? Sluggish mother? No sense of alertness?

However, despite all the chaos, I should be grateful. More grateful.

Ya Allah. Ini baru sorang. Kalau 2-3 orang. Agaknya, sebab itu Allah belum takdirkan aku ada anak lagi. Doa ku tak henti-henti, kurniakan lah zuriat lagi buat kami sebagai penghibur dan peneman dan untuk mendoakan kami nanti, dan juga sebagai peneman kepada Danisha. Amin.